To Far To Reach
by firedreamer1
Summary: Landon sees no reason to go on after Jamie dies. Than one day he finds a reason.
1. Default Chapter

Landon sees no reason to go on after Jamie dies. Than one day he finds a reason.  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own the characters or the movie.  
  
(Cry that is all the Landon wanted to do. Cry and die. Sense Landon couldn't die, he would just lie on his bed and cried. This is how he has felt sense they barried his wife two weeks ago. He couldn't escape it. When her black coffin going into the dark brown ground. When it got lower and lower. When they were shutting the lid to the coffin. When he collapsed on the ground too weak to stand. If that was not painful enough when he was sleeping he saw her standing there calling his name. No matter how far or long he ran he could never get close enough to grab Jamie. He wanted Jamie back. He wanted to touch her silky skin and look into her sky blue eyes. Kiss her soft red lips. Soon painful cries tore at his stomach. Landon couldn't bare the pain.)  
  
Landon lay there waiting for death to take him, When the phone rang. He didn't move. The phone rang and rang. Finally he slowly picked up the phone.  
  
"Hello." Landon said though you could barley hear him for crying so much took his voice.  
  
"Landon, honey. Its me mom. Are you ok." She asked worried for her son.  
  
"No mom. My heart aches it has never hurt like this before." Landon said in a shady voice.  
  
I'm coming over. His mom said worried.  
  
"No mom." He yelled at the receiver.  
  
(Landon did not want her to come over. He hadn't changed his clothes in three days and was tired to do any housework.)  
  
"Okay if you are sure." His mom said with concern in her voice.  
  
"I'm sure." He whispered he missed Jamie and his mom was making it worse.  
  
"Just to let you know North Carolina has excepted you for a scholarship. It is in the doctor's field. You did it Landon your going to be a doctor."  
  
That's great Landon thought to himself, maybe I can find a cure for a broken heart disease.  
  
"Landon you couldn't help Jamie, but maybe just maybe you can help someone else."  
  
There was a moment where no one said anything. Landon thought back to the days where he was so happy. When he had completed everything on Jamie's wish list. Even get married in the chapel that Jamie's mother got married in. Landon started to cry. Why couldn't they find a cure for cancer? Why did Jamie have to have Leukemia?  
  
"It won't always hurt this much. It will always hurt but not as much." His mother said with normal motherly advice.  
  
Landon just cried. His mom said nothing.  
  
"Jamie why did you have to be sick." He yelled at the phone " I don't like this pain, I don't like felling like this." He told his mother, " what do I do?" he asked his mother had to know something. He was desperate.  
  
Landon's mom said nothing. There was nothing she could say. She just let him cry. The only thing he could do was not let him cry alone. Soon they both hung up the phone. School. How could he think about school, how could he think about being a doctor. That was a long time ago dream, that he had when every thing made sense. He turned over in is his bed and saw his favorite picture of her. She was standing there in her wedding dress looking up at the sky.  
  
"Beautiful." Landon said out loud and softly touched the place where she used to lay, where as it got closer and closer to the end she couldn't even get up from. He laid his face oh her pillow and breathed in deeply. The smell was fading fast.  
  
"Come back to me Jamie, Ill do anything."  
  
Landon rolled back over away from her angelic face, and cried him self to sleep. 


	2. Running Away

" Landon, Landon!!!" Julie Carten had been trying talk to Landon. He was walking down the hall by himself. She had been trying to talk to Landon since she first saw him. Though he never seemed to want to talk. He always seemed to be somewhere else, and in health, when we started to talk about disissese and the topic cancer came up, he just stood up and left. Landon tried to dodge between the huge masses of people. He was trying to get away from Julie who had been following him around. Didn't she get it, he just wanted to be alone. Landon had finally decided to go to collage, if he'd known that he was going to be followed by some girl he never would of gone. He didn't care that this girl was actually very pretty, but he only wanted Jamie. She's just a girl, he repeatedly told him self, she will never be Jamie, she broke the mold for every girl he would ever meet. Jamie was heaven and every one else was just below that. "Landon," Julie finally caught up with the boy and tapped him on the sholder. He slowly turned around. " I've been calling your name" she said out of breath from trying to catch him " Oh, I didn't hear you" he lied "Oh well no big deal, aren't you excited about tomorrow?" Julie said almost jumping up and down. " We actually get to go to the hospital and interact with the patients." " Yeah I cant wait." Landon said a little annoyed. " I signed up for nurrsary and Emergency, What did you sign up for?" " I forget," he said trying to walk away. He didn't want to be around her, he didn't want to fall for her. " Oh," Julie said a little upset, she just wanted him to like her. " Well I have to go," Landon said, than he left, he didn't mean to be so rude , but he just wanted to be left alone. " Alright, goodbye," she said silently. Landon had a secret, he had a secret that he had to find out what it was. 


	3. Dreading room 350

"Okay, class I have what you have been signed up for." The teacher told her class, and handed the papers. " Landon" she yelled. He stood up and received his paper. Oncology, No, he didn't want Oncology, he couldn't face seeing cancer patients. It's not what he signed up for. " Damn it," he whispered, he wasn't sure if he could handle it. " Oncology," that's a nice floor. Julie said unsure what to say, because she knew it wasn't. " Not if you had my past," Landon said walking away. Cancer, somebody he knew had, or has cancer. She was getting closer. "Yeah, I was hoping if I could go to a different floor," Landon asked his teacher. " I'm sorry, you can't, All right class lets go." So all the student's left, with Landon trailing behind, he didn't want this floor. " This is the oncology floor," a nurse said Landon looked down at the floor, he couldn't look up, he wouldn't look up. " Here, we see death every day, from 21 years olds to little babies. I have been here for four years. It doesn't get any easier; it gets harder. You become attached as a nurse, you cant help it, everyone oh this floor depends on you to keep them alive, and when they die, you feel like you let them down. I let Jamie down. She shouldn't have died. "Alright, I'm going to split you all up." All the students were split up and Landon was sent to room 350. He didn't want to go to that room. He didn't want to go to any room. He slowly walked to the room, and lightly tapped on the door. The door slowly opened to reveal a little girl so scrawny from the disease that was eating her away. "Hello, my name is Landon, I'm from the collage a few blocks away." "I'm Amanda," he looked at the girl and the memories came flooding back. She was bald, and so thin. Jamie had also wasted away in her last few months of her precious life. "You can come in." Landon didn't want to, but it was as if his legs took another life and walked themselves into the room. The room was decorated in pictures, flower's pictures, and balloons. There was one picture that happened to catch his eye; it was a pretty girl who was living life with her friends. "That was me. before. I got sick," Amanda said when she saw what he was looking at. She looked so healthy, so happy. " It was one of the last pictures taken of me before." she just shook her head. He knew what she was thinking, 'her life had been so perfect before, what did she do wrong.' Landon quickly tried to change the subject. " How long have you been in here?" Landon asked her " I lost track after the first couple of weeks." She said, still looking at her picture. "What do you do with all the spare time you have," Landon said desperate to change the subject. "I sing," She finally smiled, " I love to smile." Landon's breath caught, he couldn't say anything, and he couldn't breath. 


End file.
